December 25 – Photo – a present to yourself Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

Me with Sam and Beth when they visited Devon in August 2010.  A happy day in Sidmouth.  Elina took the photo and we all played Crazy Golf later in the afternoon.  Sam's mum and dad (Jan and Colm) came down to collect them when the week was up and we had a lovely dinner party the night before they left for home in Scotland.  A good time was had by all.

December 24 Prompt – Everything’s OK What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

I bet lots of people feel the same as me about this prompt.  Wouldn't we all want to know that everything was going to be all-right?  But we don't ever get that kind of proof, not really.  How could we incorporate it into our lives?  This is impossible because we cannot see into the future.  We can only live one day at a time and try to enjoy the moment.  We need to appreciate the way things are right now and give thanks for the blessings we enjoy every day.

December 23 – New Name Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?

If I could be someone else for one day it would be Isabella Finlay - my mother.  I cannot imagine why my mother, with a lovely romantic name like Isabella, called me plain old Anne ... for goodness sake Mum??  What were you thinking?  And no middle name either.  Okay so does your name matter - well YES.  I would love to have a name like Isabella for even one day.  I am sure I could rise to that romantic sounding name and be just a bit more interesting ....

December 22 – Travel How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

I didn't travel far in 2010.  I went to Scotland once I think (was it twice?)  I certainly went to Glasgow in September for a family 'do' - a very happy occasion.  I should have travelled to Mexico for a wedding on 8th December 2010.  I was trying for months to afford to go and had accepted the invitation, but eventually couldn't justify the expense when the farm had soaked up so much income this year.  I had also thought to visit Bea Milburn in her new home on North Uist and to visit Bea Wissmann in Munich but neither trip happened.  So, in 2011 I hope to see both Bea's and will vastly look forward to those trips.

December 21 – Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

Oh dear, my imagination is not that great .... I could hazard a guess that I would be in exactly the same place as I am now but that would be slightly depressing.  I could say I would have an interesting well paid job that I loved  that involved travelling to interesting countries.  I might have a home in countryside where I could ride every day off-road with no traffic and hunt regularly for fun and excitement and the challenge.  I might be living in Scotland (my home) ... I just don't know, there are a lot of imponderables and why should we look so far ahead.  Isn't the challenge to be happy now?  My advise to myself for the year ahead would be to keep writing every day.  The wisdom about what to do next will come in time.
If I was advising my younger self I would tell her to pay more attention to her own needs and not devote so much energy to everyone else!

December 20 – Beyond Avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

Oh loads of things!  What should I have done this year?  Well, I should have got better organised about the cattle and I should have sold three heifers and a steer in time for the Christmas market.  That would have made sense and I just didn't get around to it.  I should have written a matrix of my work targets achieved well before the end of December - also not done.  I have a problem with procrastination (like many others).  Will I do it?  I will have to do the former and I suppose it is true to say I will HAVE to do the latter too.  Those are just two of the things I should have done, there are many more but this isn't the place to beat myself up about things not done in 2010.  Too boring for readers (not that I have any readers as such).

December 19 – Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

I think the only thing that ever really brings healing is prayer.  God heals.  And I love the words "Time heals almost everything, give time".  So God and Time are my healers.

December 18 – Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it?

I really want to go hunting on horseback.  I wanted to try in 2010 but didn't manage to.  I would love to overcome my fear and go hunting on my mare Blue in 2011.

December 17 – Lesson Learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

I don't know the answer to this prompt.  I learn more every day.  I know I am resilient but I think I have always known that.  What I don't know (more importantly) is what I actually want.  Perhaps I learned not to be a control freak this year.  It is kinder and easier on oneself to release the need to control events and people.

December 15 – 5 Minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

I am not good with this sort of thing mainly because my memory is not that great for remembering things good or bad ... but perhaps discovering D'Artagnan born safely early one August morning was a great moment.  He was lying down under the hedge by his mother; they both looked well and happy and he was so brightly coloured (Skewbald) and I was so shocked at the colour of him I had to laugh at myself for being so surprised.  Whatever I was expecting it certainly wasn't this brightly coloured colt.  But I was very happy.  He was well and I had been out every night (in the middle of the night) for a month awaiting his safe arrival.  That was a happy day worth remembering.  Of-course the rest of that day .... well .... probably best forgotten.  It was the day Spencer's trusty truck (Rocky) broke down and didn't go ever again.  Honiton Show day 2010 when we were towing lots of Shetland Ponies to the show with Elina and her sister as well as Sam and Beth and Lulu.  What a day that was ...

December 14 – Appreciate. What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

Well I try to be appreciative most days.  I try to appreciate all the many blessings we all enjoy living in the countryside which I love.  I have a wonderful home and family.  We are blessed with a warm home and food in abundance.  We are surrounded by the beauty of nature and we are one with the countryside because we look after animals and this keeps us in touch with nature every day.  If it wasn't for the animals we would be tempted to stay indoors on cold or rainy days and not go out in nature and that going out makes life worthwhile.  But to find one thing in particular to appreciate well I could go for 750words.com because that has been a real help to unblocking and giving me back my ability to write and to express gratitude for it I could buy Buster Benson a cup of coffee ($4).  His is a brilliant concept and easily worth $4.

December 13 – Action. When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step?

This is a really good prompt and one which I can at least try to action.  What is my next step?  Good question!
Okay, firstly aspirations and making ideas happen.  I think I will start with something fairly simple, but important to me.  I want to ride my horse more often.  To make this happen I firstly need to wean her from her handsome son D'Artagnan.  He was born on 5th August 2010 so on 5th January 2011 he will be five months old.  I think she can be ridden around that time.  We just need to separate them for a little while each day and ride Blue as often as possible until we wean him properly around 5th February 2011 at six months old.
So, what is my next step?  To separate Blue from D'Arty on 2nd or 3rd January and get Lulu to ride her out for the first couple of times before I get on.  Great idea!

December 12: Body integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

Hey - this is a great prompt.  It is so not me that I can laugh about it and not take it seriously, I mean Body Integration?  Oh my dear soul!  When did I feel the most integrated with my body?  Oooh .... I wonder when that was?  Well that would have been never well not in recent memory (like for that last 20 years or so).  I wonder if I used to feel integrated with my body?  Hmmn .... interesting question .... not.

That is all I have to say on that prompt ... easy peasy today.

Oh and on a more interesting note, the Shuttleton Christmas Cake got baked today (by Lulu).  Home made mince pies got made and cheese scones - wonderful Christmas baking day.  Went to try and get Christmas Tree from Del Boy but he was out of tall ones so need to go back again tomorrow ... got mistletoe and got diverted talking about his pigs (he has a lovely Tamworth Sow and GOS boar).

Re - last post

Obviously I cannot add up because the animals totalled 9 not 7.  Oh well ....

December 11: 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

Well I will have a go but 11??  That is quite a lot of things not to need.  I mean obviously I have cupboards full like everyone else of stuff I don't need like kitchen gadgets and ornaments I don't like and don't use and crockery I don't like and do use!
I like the saying "Get rid of everything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful" and I do try to exercise that rule but with a houseful of 'stuff' to start with it's not always easy.
On a grander scale I could/should get rid of two sows because they are surplus to requirements and would bring in some much needed revenue (as I don't want to eat them - urgh!) , same for the two sheep which will go into the freezer nicely and we do want to eat those - they should taste wonderful.  Then there is the three heifers which need to go because of a lack of winter fodder and two steers into the freezer  much anticipated beautiful Highland meat).  So in total that would be animals = 7.  Four items to go ...

Well I don't want to get rid of my blog since I have just started that.  I don't want to get rid of 750 words.com  because it's brilliant and helps me get stuff off my mind and onto paper and may lead to something creative.

But Sam didn't ask for 11 things we want to keep but 11 things we want to get rid of and why ...

What doesn't my life need?  I could say all that stuff like stress, regrets, people I don't connect with any more but how is listing that sort of thing going to help anything because who actually WANTS stress or regrets?  No-one!

One thing I know my life doesn't need I cannot write down but it is important and it is my number 8 (and my secret).

Three more things. 

More than 1400 calories per day - my life doesn't need any more than 1400.  I will keep on recording everything I eat to get rid of anything over 1400 calories.

The colour brown - my life definitely doesn't need that!  The only brown I like is the soil - the Land - it's the only thing that matters.

My beautiful yellow lorry - Lily!  I love Lily but I don't need her because she scares me to drive her and in her stead I DO need a towing vehicle and a lovely new horse trailer (EquiTrek with living space).

Okay - that's all folks.

December 9: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

Oh Dear! I fear one of those depressing blogs coming on ... but this year the one event I really looked forward to and had the possibility to be a real success turned into disaster!

I know it sounds unlikely but the event in question was a 'Hoe-Down' sort of Country and Western Evening organised by Taunton Vale Foxhounds as a fund-raiser.  The whole thing was organised beautifully from the ranch-style entrance to the riders in full western gear greeting us and we went through.  People in amazing costumes (think normal cowboy, then Lincoln-style black morning suits, bawdy house show girls, Red Indians).  The cowboys to a man looked unbelievably sexy (I was raised on John Wayne films) and the bar was authentically western-style.  The dance floor was inviting, the band played square dances encouraging guests to take their partners for the doe-c-doe .... There was a fortune teller (one of the huntsmen dressed up - quite hilarious), there was horseshoe flinging, cattle roping, and a camp-fire with bales of straw around for people to sit and talk away from the band and the noise.  It was the most atmospheric costume party I had ever been to in my life.  Wonderful Chilli was served with cowboy beans and potatoes and bread followed by mountains of strawberries and cream.

It had such possibilities that party but for me it wasn't a success.  People were coupled up and the friend I went along with knew a lot of people and enjoyed chatting away to her friends.  I didn't mind that at all for I thought I would find folk to talk to but no, there were polite hello's here and there but no conversation as such.  I sat around the camp-fire sure that someone would strike up a conversation and that I would get the opportunity to laugh and interject with some witty comment but no.  As the evening wore on I felt increasingly like some kind of freak or social outcast!  I tried, really I did, I even had a drink to help oil the wheels of conversation but no-one wanted to talk.

At last a very nice woman sort of rescued me because she had previously been interested in buying one of our ponies and wanted to explain that she had found a suitable mount for her daughter nearby.  She was particularly friendly and we spoke for half an hour or so and that helped at lot.

Since I am describing disasters I may as well tackle the dancing fiasco; I love square dancing and had asked Louise if we could join in early in the evening.  She didn't really want to but must have felt guilty later so agreed to dance but by then the band had changed, the square dancing was finished and as we approached the dance floor she made a very silly comment about people thinking we were a couple!  That was the last straw for me, I sidled off (she was with her pals), almost in tears I just wanted to go home.  What an evening!

Afterwards when I told Ruth she said she thought that the crowd were rather bad mannered and the supporters and guests who were mainly in couples should have made me feel welcome as I was on my own, and now I do agree with her.  No-one really cared at all and for that reason I will not return to any social occasions organised by that hunt.

I'll stick to TVH and the Tiverton who seem to have supporters with manners and kindness.

December 8: Beautifully different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different - you'll find they're what make you beautiful

Beautifully different eh?  Don't think so!  I guess everyone will find this a difficult prompt because who wants to talk about themselves in those terms?  Aren't we more used to talking about how useless we are?  How inefficient, how untidy, how lazy?  I can think of lots of those (disorganised, late, and so on and so on).  But what makes us beautiful - well I wonder.  I think I might be quite welcoming to visitors and I guess that is beautiful if you are a guest coming to Shuttleton for the first time.  To be greeted by someone cheerful, funny and open-hearted but be kind of beautiful.  I love an open house with lots of visitors and house guests.  My family doesn't always appreciate me inviting people to stay and then to 'stay on'.  Actually I only do that to people I really like.  I can take short bursts of almost any visitors but long ones - hang on a minute .... no I only like them to stay on when we get along and they help out.
Am I different?  I fear not.  Many people are very hospitable so I don't think that makes me any different.  I have long passed thinking I am unique in any way but I am reasonably happy with the way I conduct my own life, my honesty and my values.  But I make so many mistakes, even with those I love best in the world.  I will try to be 'more beautiful' in spirit at least.

December 7: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

I work for a fantastic charity called Fredericks Foundation and within that brilliant organisation I have found a community of people dedicated to helping others get into work through running a business.  Fredericks Foundation was established to lend money to start-up businesses when the banks refuse to lend.  There is a real feeling of community about this small charity which I treasure even when the going gets tough and some of my own clients fail to pay (this is a source of deep frustration).   I don't like when that happens because as a charity we depend on clients repaying their loans so that the money can be lent again - it is a 'revolving' loan fund that we administer.
It seems strange to talk about ones employers and co-workers as a community but it most definitely is and I think that is because we are all trying to help other people, our aims are honourable and unselfish which means there is much less rivalry than in other businesses.
In my 'Shuttleton' life I enjoy a community of local farmers and in my 'Eventing' life we have a community of horse-mad people who are dedicated to the sport of Evening (okay I know, really weird!).  I serve on a committee which runs an affiliated event for British Eventing and that community (within the committee) has discord within it.
I would like to join a village community like the Church but I am not constant enough in my efforts to join and attend.  I used to belong to the Church in my home village of Uffculme but I stopped going when it seemed to me that the Church of England was intolerant towards other faiths (I am of the 'One God' school of thought myself).
I like the community of 750 Words - the most fun I have had in a long time and I need to get more involved and I need to find out how to let Reverb10 connect to my blog.  No idea how, but must find out.
Unbelievable frost outside this morning - never seen anything like it before.  I had to take photos of a spider's web entirely etched out in an amazing frost.  Wonder if I can post photos to this thing?

December 6: Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

The last thing I made (apart from Fajitas on Sunday with good beef) was probably two Christmas Holly Garlands last Christmas 2009 - Lulu was away travelling at the time and Spence was determined we would decorate the same as usual even though Lulu drives the Christmas decorating in our home.  One of the garlands is always for our front door to greet our festive visitors during Yuletide and one for my beloved mum's grave.
Spence and I use materials gathered from Shuttleton Farm, occasionally with the addition of some holly lookalike bushes with berries from Hill View Nursery where we buy our Christmas Tree.  We always have plenty of our own holly but it usually has no berries. We use ivy as well.  Last year we actually wound on some wired plastic berries I found in a florist shop - very useful actually.   We add cinnamon sticks and nuts and try to make it as good as we can though we are not artistic or imaginative.

I do enjoy home-made things for our farm and I know it is fashionable now anyway (think Kirsty Allsop!) but it is a real pleasure to make things oneself (and with the family).  Lulu made home-made Gooseberry Jam last Saturday - oh boy it was a real treat.

The next thing we are going to make (apart from the Holly Garlands this Christmas - we must be in our fourth or fifth year of manufacture) is Christingle Oranges.  The St Mary's Hemyock Christingle Service took place yesterday and we didn't go.  Lulu said we should do something at home and she needed holly for her hall decorations.  So the three of us gathered holly from around the farm in the freezing cold - it was most invigorating, as Mr Darcy would say.  I love those family therapy sessions.  Magically, for the first time ever, our own holly had one or two precious red berries - how exciting!

Anyway we are going to make our own Christingle Oranges - I have no idea how but I know they each have a candle and a ribbon, not sure what else but no doubt I will find it on Wiki.  I will also help Lulu make some Christmas spicy pomanders to scent the house of wonderful evocative festive scents.

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

What or whom did I let go of this year and why?  I let go of Wilbur my pet pig.  I wish I hadn't really but he became so big and rather demanding and he could serve no purpose.  I wanted him to serve a purpose (quite literally) and if he had served the sows he would have had a long and happy life.  We all loved him but he couldn't do the job and I couldn't keep him for nothing because farm animals are not pets.  Spence said once (about 'Mother') "She is a pig, not a pet" and I thought at the time how true that was.  Still I miss Wilbur.

Tomorrow's prompt from Reverb10

Well now I have caught up and I can now give better attention to the prompts and do whatever else it is I am supposed to do ... (must read the instructions)

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

I didn't really.  Maybe it was just always there?  I always have a sense of wonder about the beauty of nature.  I live in a beautiful part of the world and every day I wonder about how lucky we are to live here, to see the birds on the table outside, to feed the animals (cattle, sheep, horses, even the pigs!). To have warmth and space and gorgeous food inside.  Many of us are so lucky and yet we talk endlessly about our problems.  We have a 'wonder' full life
What I need to do is try to share my sense of wonder and to keep on rekindling it and sharing it.  I am not sure I can.  Surely everyone needs their very own sense of wonder?  I can't think of a time when I didn't have a sense of wonder about so many things in life.

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

I think I am too tired to pick one moment and I am trying to catch up on the prompts having missed the 1st to the 4th December.  These 'catch-up' blogs are brief!

Okay let's try - one moment when I felt most alive?  I remember!  It was last January (2010) when Bea came to visit from Munich and it snowed very heavily that day.  We went outside and built an enormous SNOWMAN with coal-black eyes and a carrot nose and some kind of weird vegetable mouth.  He had a scarf and a hat and twigs for arms.  We laughed heartily that day and I felt really alive and very happy.  A Robin Redbreast landed on my Wellington boot and although momentarily thrilled I knew it was a warning of something bad to come as I had such a sense of foreboding.  The corresponding low came 12 hours later ....

December 2 - Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

I work each day - outside work and my paid job.  I cannot change either of those (and don't want to) but 750 words has enabled me to write every day for 13 days now!

December 1 - One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Hope would be my one word for 2010.  I have never hoped so fervently ...
In 2011 I 'HOPE' my one word will be 'Peace'

This morning

Okay well this morning has so far been better than yesterday.  No visits from the RPA would help I guess and I have already written my 750 words for today.  I took Colin for his blood test at Churchinford and had the pleasure of visiting a super farm-shop up there in the hills called Jacqui Rees Deli -  a lovely hot sausage roll was purchased for Colin as a treat then, when he went to the Post Office, half of it was eaten by me.   GORGEOUS.  I highly recommend Jacqui's Deli - nice lady serving (maybe Jacqui?) - everything looked fresh and clean and appetising.  I suppose at 11.45am I was probably a bit hungry too ... anyway, back to work and things going steadily well this end too.  Going to Williton tonight for an Economic Conference - leading a workshop on Micro-Finance.  Back to preparing client papers for the panel next week.

Shall we go out?

In a bid to change my mood after this morning I am trying to organise the four of us to eat at our fantastic local pub (Culm Valley Inn).  This isn't as easy as it sounds and of-course there is the Apprentice to take into account - will a digitally recorded version be the same?  One member of family keen so far ... Another wants to go tomorrow night (I am at an economic conference on Exmoor so cannot make tomorrow) and a third says 'don't know'.  Okay it looks as though today might end the way it started - C**P.

Not a good start to the day

Just had a ruinous start to the day with a visit from a representative from the RPA. The RPA managed to make a field which is unchanged in 18 years into an 'ineligible' feature!  The rep from RPA agreed that the field was eligible but on all other counts decided the RPA 'thermal' imaging was completely correct.  She measured nothing and was determined to agree with the thermal and to disagree with our Google Earth images which she said were not recent.  I am absolutely fed up with dealing with this ghastly bureaucracy - our fields have been 'shrunk' three times since the RPA scheme was introduced.  No amount of reasonable communication does any good whatsoever and the whole exercise is to save DEFRA money at the expense of small-holders like us.  I am very fed up!  The RPA rep was, I am sure, only doing her job and following guidelines but that fact doesn't help and the visit still ruined my day.  I am still recovering .... slowly.